Inexperienced
by AdorableBecquerel
Summary: It is the beginning of high school at Alternia High School for two students. When they find themselves in love, they realized: they don't know what they are doing at all. DaveJade. Rated M for language, a LOT of fluff in later chapters, and instance of sex (perhaps more smut later).
1. Chapter 1: First Day of School

A/N: Wow, first rated M. Isn't this quite the accomplishment?

Yeah, no. The story and dialogue just seem to flow better rather than using "frick" or other, cleaner substitutions.

Anyway, here it is.

* * *

_First day of school, Dave. Stay cool, don't freak out_. These were my thoughts as I looked upon the entrance to my new school. Still, personal insecurities told me to keep my shades on at all times.

The sign up front read_ Alternia High School: Home of the Falcons_ in large capital letters.

I was in the middle of thinking about how stupid the word Alternia sounds when I was interrupted by the sound of shouting nearby. Turning to the right, I saw a group of girls gathered, jeering. There was a girl being bullied in the center of the group, wearing round glasses and clutching her schoolbooks close to her chest. "Nerd!" "Loser!" "Dork!" they teased.

"HEY! Leave her the fuck alone, assholes!" I yelled at the girls, who faced me momentarily, then scattered like roaches.

Only the one girl was left. I walked over and sat down next to her, which slightly startled her. She looked away from me, hiding her face with her hair. "Hey. Are you okay?" I asked.

No response. "It's okay, you can talk to me, I don't bi-"

"Please. Could you leave me alone?" she said timidly, turning away from me.

"Well, shit. But if you need my help again, don't be afraid to talk to me, okay?" Again, no response. I gave a sigh and walked to my first class, leaving the girl by herself.

...

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ I mentally scolded myself. _Someone actually tries to help you and you brush them off? Great going, Jade!_ I felt horrible. And to think the guy was actually pretty nice, not to mention cute.

Deep in the middle of thought, I didn't notice the school bell ring. I only found out when security came and talked to me.

"Miss, you are late for class. Please show me your schedule," she said, holding out her hand. I complied, pulling out the crumpled paper. Unraveling it, she motioned me to follow her.

...

I reached my first class, History. Looking at my classmates, things didn't look too promising. In one corner, there were the so-called "populars" who chatted endlessly among each other, probably gossiping like little shits. Another corner had the obvious stoners, who were high as fuck, from what I could gather. The rest of class were the socially awkward people, who I preferred to sit next to, rather than be labeled immediately as an asshole or a druggie.

As soon as the bell rang, the teacher began the class. "Well, hello students-" Wow. I already hate him for such a corny introduction. "I hope you all had a nice summer! I am Mister -" Yeah, I already tuned out.

This class was going to be hell.

...

The security guard brought me to the door of my first class. Honestly, I wanted to just turn around and go back home.

Opening the door, she interrupted the teacher, who was still in the middle of his introduction to the class. The two exchanged a few words and the guard left me standing awkwardly at the door, with everyone staring.

The teacher cleared his throat before introducing me to the class. "Okay class. This is Jade Harley. She's your classmate, so treat her nicely." Looking around the room, he found a seat way in the back and told me to sit down.

I took a look over the class for myself. Unfortunately, I found the same group of girls who were picking on me earlier sitting halfway between me and my seat, wearing smug grins on their faces.

This class was going to be hell.

...

Honestly, I was bored out of my mind right now. The teacher said something to someone outside, some random kid who was late to class was escorted in, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I really didn't give two shits at this point.

"...ah! You can sit over there in the back, next to... Dave? Dave? DAVE!" The teacher's voice pulled me out of my boredom. "Dave, please pay attention in class. Or else you might get lost during my lectures." Some people in the "popular" corner snickered. "And take your glasses off."

Okay. That last command was pushing it a little. "Sorry sir, can't do that." I replied.

The teacher frowned in annoyance at your reply. "I _said_, take off your glasses. Don't make me give you detention on the first day of school."

"Yeah, whatever." I shrugged. _No one_, and I mean, _NO ONE_ would make me take off these rad shades. The teacher hastily scribbled a detention notice and left it on his desk, as well as writing my name on the board.

"Well, Mr. Strider. You just earned the first detention of the year. Congratulations."

I considered getting a permanent marker and leaving one of my "pleasant" comments on the desk when I heard whispering coming from the center of the class. "You think he'll do it?" a girl whispered.

"Hell yeah! He's fucking head over heels for you! Five bucks says he'll do it." replied another, taking a five dollar bill from her pocket. The other girl did the same.

In anxiety, they watched one of the socially awkward students up front, a boy in a wheelchair, looking back to them, slightly shifting in it with excitement. (God, this guy looks like a fucking tool.)

It didn't take long for me to realize what was going to happen. As the new girl walked by the disabled boy, he stuck out his foot. This caused her to trip, knocking her books across the floor. In response, the girl jumped to her feet and punched the boy, earning him a bloody nose.

Unfortunately, her punch was the only thing the teacher saw. "JADE! How _could_ you? He's in a _wheelchair_! That'll be a detention for _you_ as well." the teacher reprimanded. Scribbling down a detention slip for her, he looked back up to me. "Hey, Dave. Looks like you won't be in detention alone."

What an oblivious asshole.

And with that, he began his lecture.

...

I fucking _hated_ everyone right now. Baring my teeth, I picked up my books and trudged over to my seat. Something told me that those mean girls had something to do with the tripping. Two of them whispered, one handing over some money to the other. God, those bitches are just so-

I was pulled out of my rage-filled thoughts by a folded note that landed on my desk. Looking around, no one was facing or staring at me. Opening it up, it just said a single word: "sup", in red ink.

When I searched for my penpal again, the guy in the adjacent row turns a bit to look at me. It was the same guy from this morning. Blushing, I wrote a quick response, adding a smiley face, before sending it back. As it reached his desk, the guy opened it up with one hand, but never turned his head down to look at it. Still facing forward, he wrote something down, then tossed it back.

"hey so after detention you wanna hang out or something

you seem pretty fucking cool"

I felt heat rise to my cheeks from the note. "sure! :)" I wrote, throwing it to him. Again, he wrote his response down without even looking. _That's so cool! How does he do it?_ I wondered. When he returned it, it said: "cool see you then". Smiling at him, that was last interaction we had for the rest of the class.

...

My other classes weren't much different: same boring teachers, same issue with the glasses (although, the other teachers had let it slide), same _everything_ really. Though, my thoughts were just filled with that girl from History class. She seemed really chill, she just has to deal with the shit from those girls.

Before I knew it, it was lunch period. The school lunch was some generic meat, probably beef, but honestly, I think the cafeteria workers were doing a half-assed job today.

Luckily, I found a secluded corner of the campus where no one ever ate. I didn't really feel like eating in a crowded place. Poking at my food, I still couldn't stop thinking about Jade. She was pretty cute: the way she was easily flustered, the way her hair blew in the wind, the sweet smell of her- oh fuck. Things got _way_ creepy there.

Finally after a few minutes of just sitting there like an idiot, I decided to start eating my lunch.

...

Watching the lunch lady pile on the admittedly gross-looking slop that was for lunch today, I thought about where I could eat. Looking back at the cafeteria, I saw endless tables of students. Everyone with the same "labels" sat in groups of their own: nerds and geeks on one table, "popular" people on another, stuff like that. But, frankly, I preferred a more private place to eat. Leaving the noisy lunch room, I looked across the campus for a spot to call my own.

Several buildings away, I saw one area that didn't look awfully crowded. It just had maybe one or two students who would go there, probably for study hall.

As I reached the building, I found a place where a cool, gentle breeze blew through. Sitting down, I realized how hungry I was, my stomach growling to be satisfied. Taking the first bite, nothing struck me as _disgusting_ really, but it still left an odd taste in my mouth as I chewed.

Finishing rather quickly, I threw away my plate and decided to explore the campus a little. My grandfather really was enthusiastic about adventure. I guess he really rubbed off on me.

...

About halfway through my lunch, I heard a noise coming from a janitor's closet nearby. Initially I dismissed it and continued eating, but it happened again, louder than before. Standing up and walking over, I put an ear up against the door. Voices were coming from inside, but they were unrecognizable. That is, until they got louder.

"Karkat!"

I lifted my ear from the door and thought about how fucking stupid that name sounds. _Karkat? Really?_ Listening in again, I heard the name repeatedly. After a while, I heard another voice.

"John!" it cried.

Oh shit. They better _not_ be doing what I _think_ they're doing. The names were called out several more times, eventually turning to moans- Yeah, fuck. They were having _sex_ in there. God dammit.

I didn't feel very hungry anymore. Not at all.

...

* * *

A/N: I'm not sure if the story has much potential, I might just leave this as a "dead" story that never updates.

Not really a hardcore DaveJade shipper, but I still ship them.

Until next time,

~ATJKU


	2. Chapter 2: Detention

A/N: I'm starting to think that this may have the potential to blossom into something pretty great.

Still thinking about it.

* * *

...

The bell had rung, signalling the start of the last class of the day.

I was pretty bored throughout the lesson, so my thoughts slipped into what I was thinking about all day: the boy from this morning.

He was on my mind all day: his composure, his cool attitude, the scent of his beautiful blonde hair- oh fuck. Things got _way_ creepy there. But still, I wasn't able to think about anything else, let alone the teacher's lesson.

Before I knew it, the bell rang again, and everyone darted out, leaving me behind without my book even opened.

"Excuse me, miss... Harley, is it?" the teacher asked.

"Hmm?"

"I see you haven't even opened your textbook. Were you even paying the _slightest_ attention at all during the class?"

Oh shit. I wasn't. "Umm... Of course!" I quickly lied. "I just loved your lesson about... stuff."

Okay, wow. That really was the crappiest lie ever.

"Mm-hm. Miss Harley, next time, please pay attention during the lecture. If you keep this up, your grades won't do so well."

"Oh, sorry." Quietly, I put away my school supplies and left.

Heading to History class for my punishment, I realized it's been my first one since elementary school. I think the classroom walls were still stained from that day. It's not really a memory I like to remember.

I felt a little nervous about going to detention, but then again...

At least I'll get to see Dave.

…

I wasn't even sure this was detention. It seemed more like one hour of "do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you stay in the classroom". So Jade and I just chatted away, while the teacher was pretty much sleeping.

"It doesn't seem like much of a detention, does it?" I asked her.

She shrugged. "I don't really get into trouble often, so I wouldn't know."

"Well, aren't you the goody-two-shoes." I teased.

Giving a frown, (which was actually really fucking cute) she retorted, "No! I just know how to act respectfully!"

"Mm-hm. Right. Because it is _respectful_ to punch the shit out of a cripple."

Her cheeks started to burn red. "Oh my god, he _tripped_ me! That would be a natural response!"

"Yeah, I'm joking. That guy doesn't know when he's getting set up. Kinda feel bad for him." I said. "Clearly fallen in love with that bitch, you know, the one with the weird name? Virisker, was it? Eh, I don't really give a shit."

Jade laughed a little, which made me smile on the inside, but I didn't let it surface. "Yeah, I don't really know what's her problem with me. I came to school early to read a book, and all of a sudden I found myself under fire." She extended her hand out to me. "Thank you, by the way, for scaring them off. It helps when you have a friend."

Looking back at the teacher, I whispered to Jade. "Wanna ditch? This classroom is really boring. I'd rather talk somewhere other than in front of a teacher. Especially in front of this smug asshole."

She started to look worried. "I don't know, Dave. He'll be pretty upset, and, even though it's been fun, I don't think detentions will look good on my record."

"Nah. It'll be fine. We only have half an hour left anyway." I tried to sound as convincing as possible.

Jade silently thought about it for a minute. "...okay, but if we caught, I'm not going to be happy with you." she threatened, though I passed it off with a shrug.

Quietly, we stood up from our seats and snuck over to the door. It would seem that the teacher was quite the heavy sleeper, seeing as a fly that was flying around the room was on his face for the hour or so that we were there.

Once we were out of the classroom, we practically sprinted, as if the building was on fire.

And I felt pretty fucking great.

…

_Dammit_. Why did I let myself ditch detention? I should've stayed in detention like a good student, instead of running off with hot… attractive…

You know what, fuck detention. I'd prefer Dave over the stupid classroom any day. He understands me like no one else, pays attention to me more than anyone else. Well, that is, other than Bec.

We found ourselves hanging out at the neighborhood park, about a block up from the school. It was pleasant: the green grass of summer, the colorful trees, the lively people spending time together. Almost dream-like, really.

But it was too amazing to have been a dream.

…

We made our way over the swing set, which swayed back and forth from the light breeze blowing through the park. Sitting down, we talked more about each other, and I learned a lot, actually.

Jade tells me she lives alone, with her dog, Becquerel, in a large house. Sounds like a lonely life to me. But I guess she's used to it by now.

I just told her about my bro, and how he keeps his creepy-ass puppets around the house. Some in weirder places than others.

Somehow, she found my brother's obsession with puppets funny.

It's never funny once you know what being smothered in smuppet dong feels like.

...

By sunset, we were still talking, but our conversations never got stale to me. His cool exterior really just hid a sweet guy underneath, and I'm sure he knew I thought that.

"So what's it like being raised by your bro?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Eh. It's okay, I can't complain. He's a really cool brother. Pretty much the father figure in my life, so I guess it's not much different from a dad."

Silence. I wasn't sure what to say next.

We laid there, watching the colors in the sky evolve in its cycle from blue to orange, and to the black of night. The stars dotting the heavens above looked beautiful, the moon being the main attraction in the darkness. Everyone else who were visiting the park left by now, leaving the two of us to ourselves.

Tonight seemed perfect, a night to remember. Hanging out with a close friend is fun, but under conditions like these, it'd be just right to ask a simple question. But I felt a little hesitant.

What if he doesn't reciprocate? I'd look like a complete idiot, not to mention possibly scaring off my only friend I had now. Maybe I could ask later, when we-

"Jade…" he said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

…

"Jade…" I was gathering all my bravery, like a damn knight going off to battle. Part of me wished I said that softly, so she wouldn't hear, so I wouldn't have to carry on with the rest of what I was going to say.

Fuck. She's looking at me. Okay. It's now or never, I guess.

"So… tonight's been fun. I've been having the time of my life. Like, really. And I'd love to do this again with you." I paused a moment, calling on any and all the courage I had that wasn't accumulated before. "In fact, today as a whole got me thinking." With a last deep breath, I said it.

"Would you… I dunno… maybe... Go out with me?"

Everything went quiet.

God dammit, I knew I was too eager. We just fucking met today and I already popped the question.

I started to apologize when I was cut off-

Jade rolled over and kissed me.

It was long and endearing, and my mind went erratic. Her tender lips melted across mine as we shared this absolutely amazing moment. Fireworks went off inside my head, one after the other with every movement she made. I felt like the luckiest guy _ever_ to be spending this time with Jade. Pulling her closer, our shared warmth fought off the cold night breeze.

As she wrapped her arms around my neck, I wrapped mine around her waist, bringing us even closer together. Even after what I thought was minutes, my thought processes were still out of control.

I couldn't think straight, my brain was in autopilot.

My movements relied on instinct.

With my mind operating like clockwork, I let go of all my thoughts and insecurities.

This beautiful moment was all I needed to think and worry about.

…

I don't know what came over me, but when he asked me out, it was the perfect timing to show him my feelings for him. Honestly, I have no knowledge when it comes to romance, but when I was with him, everything just seemed so… so...

Natural.

It was almost as if we had done this before, and this was just routine. Yet at the same time, the experience felt so exhilarating that I could never get tired of it.

The only reason I had for pulling away from such an amazing sensation was to get some air. I wonder how long we laid there, indulging with one another. It must have been only minutes, but to me, it felt like an eternity. Snuggling up close to him, I gave a deep sigh of content.

"So… I'm guessing that's a 'yes'?" he asked.

I chuckled to his question. "Yes, that means a 'yes'."

…

* * *

A/N: To be honest, I think this chapter is the most emotional and romantic one I've ever written. Like.

Ever.

In fact, I think I convinced myself to like the ship more than I did when I started.

But whatever.

Until next time,

~ATJKU


	3. Chapter 3: Rumors Have Been Going Around

A/N: I feel kinda bad about my other stories' followers: they're waiting like children on Christmas morning, only to find no presents. I feel determined to get this story going, it seems to be doing okay. So it may take a while for me to update my other stories.

Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Later that night, after saying farewell, we made our ways home, each in our own direction. I was still in a trance about the kiss, shuffling down the road like a fucking zombie. Being in my own world made my trip even longer than it should have been. By the time I got home, Bro was sleeping. Or at least, I _thought_ he was.

Unlocking the door, I was greeted by a dark room, so I figured he'd have been asleep. Closing it behind me, I dropped my bag over by the couch and was about to go upstairs when the light turned on in the living room.

"So...where'd you go, little man?" a voice asked. Aw shit. I stopped and faced my bro, who stood, arms crossed, over by the light switch. I wasn't sure if he was annoyed nor worried. It was hard to tell, as he wore his shades as much as I wore mine.

"I was studying at the park," I quickly lied, though he saw through it instantly.

"Did it happen to be chemistry? 'Cause I saw a whole lot of _that_ when you were with that girl."

Fuck. "What girl? I was studying. And how would you know? Were you up at the park too?" I bombarded him with questions, hoping to get him to leave me alone.

"I was with Jake. And we saw you two really getting your 'study' on. Doing a little 'physical education', if you know what I mean..." he said teasingly. Bringing up his pointer in one hand, his thumb and index in a loop on the other, he thrusted it in and out.

I felt redness in my cheeks. "No, no, no! Fuck! That's _not_ what we were doing!"

He chuckled and smiled. "Mm-hm. Yep. Dave 'Fucking' Strider. Ladies man. Heart throb. Cassanova."

Ignoring him, I asked, "Were you watching us or something?"

"No." Bursting into laughter, he added, "But Jake and I both agree: you two looked sooooo _cute_!"

Oh my fucking god. No. "Holy shit, I swear, if I find you watching us again, I'll kick your ass!" I stormed upstairs in embarrassment.

"That's right, little dude. Keep absconding! I'll find you two again!" he called after me.

…

I've never felt so happy in my entire life. I mean, Becquerel is fun to hang around with and all, but sometimes I need a little more human interaction.

It's been years since Grandpa died, and my older brother, Jake, moved out. I heard people saying he found his soul mate, some random guy he met. But ever since he ditched, I don't like talking about him much. I didn't even mention it to Dave. He probably wouldn't understand, having his Bro with him all the time.

Walking up to my doorstep, I unlocked the door and went inside.

It was dark. And empty. Surprise, surprise, just like every other night. Kind of dampened my spirit a little.

Bec was sitting by the couch, wagging his tail in excitement. I smiled, rubbing his head. "Hey, Bec. I missed you." He licked my face as I gave him a hug.

I went to take a quick shower before going to my room to start doing my assignments.

Turning on the study lamp by the desk, I brought out my homework, which I frankly had any idea how to do. I guess that's what happens when Geez, you'd think the teachers would at least wait 'til the second day to give out homework.

I found myself rereading the same line over and over again. _The revolution of 1917… The revolution of… The revolu… The rev…_

Fuck.

And with that, I dozed off, leaving my blank work scattered on the table.

…

_Beep, beep, beep, beep._

I woke up to the blaring sound of my alarm buzzer. _6:15._ Disoriented and blinded by the harsh sunlight flooding in through the window, I couldn't find a good reason to get out of bed. Laying back down, I shut my eyes, trying to go back to sleep.

But of course, Bro had to be the ass that he was.

Something freezing cold was shoved down my shirt, making me cringe and writhe in response.

"Wake up, little man! I made breakfast! Hurry up and get it before it gets as cold as these ice cubes!" he said, promptly before shoving another handful of frozen water into my clothes.

"Okay! Okay! Fuck!" I cried, jumping out of bed to shake out the ice. Once I was sure I got out all of it, I put on my shades and climbed downstairs to eat.

Bro was over by the stove, cooking some bacon and eggs. Of course, he was wearing one of his awful aprons. Today he chose the one his sister made, which she obviously made when she was drunk. Which was always. It was the one saying, 'Y wold I want chiks wehn I got DIKCS?' It even had four half-naked images of Jake in the corners, and I could even see a little something peeking out from his crotch...

God, I hated that one. "Bro, can I eat breakfast without having to see your boyfriend's naked bod every time you turn around?"

Shrugging, he kept tending to the food on the stove. That asshole.

I finished as soon as possible and dumped my plate in the sink before heading upstairs to get ready for the day.

…

Did I do _any_ homework at all last night?

My papers and worksheets were left blank and scattered on the table. I didn't even get to write my name at the top.

With a sigh of frustration, I shoved the papers into my bag and went to the kitchen. I ate a quick breakfast, a bowl of cereal, and made sure to fill Bec's food and water bowls before heading to the bathroom.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I recalled last night's events. The park, Dave,... wait. I just realized that we were dating now. Did I even know how to stay in a relationship? I struggle just to make _friends_, let alone a _boyfriend_. Ugh. I guess I'll cross that road when I get there.

After brushing my teeth and my hair, I grabbed my bag and headed out.

…

As I got to school, a group of girls looked at me, then back to each other. They were whispering among themselves, pointing. And frankly, it pissed me off.

Heading towards my locker, I saw a small, white envelope taped to the door. As I ripped it off, it felt like someone was watching me.

Fuck. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to open the envelope. But I decided against it, shoving it through a slot at the top of the locker.

"Hey, Strider!"

God damn it. I turned around to face who I like to call, "Spider Bitch". Vriska Serket.

Clearly annoyed, I responded, "What do you want, Spider Bitch?"

"Well that wasn't necessary!" she feigned. "But anyway, I heard from someone that a certain someone was going out with a certain nerd. You wouldn't happen to know about that, would you?" She added that last part with a sinister smirk on her face.

Shit. Did everyone know about last night? "No, I thought only scum like you would give a fuck." I said, keeping a straight face.

"Okay, look. I'm gonna cut all the bullshit right now. I hear that you're going out with Jade Harley. Of all people! You chose that loser! That's pretty pathetic!" she said with a laugh.

"And I remember when you were going out with Nitram. What was the word again? Oh that's right. _Tavris_."

That wiped the smug grin off her face in an instant. Clamping a hand over my mouth and pinning me against the wall, she threatened in a low voice, "Shut the fuck up! That was seventh grade! And if you tell anyone about me and that cripple and I will _kill_ you! _You hear me_?"

Pushing her off, I kept going. "You know, I think I still have those photos stashed away. And I hear that colored copies over by the copy store are getting cheaper."

I could feel her anger filling the air. It was so thick you could cut it with a knife. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

By now, the little scene had gathered the attention of practically everyone in the hallway. "Oh wait, they're still on my phone! Boy, it'd be a _real_ shame if someone 'accidently' broadcasted it to the _entire_ school through the wireless system." I teased.

Vriska looked like she was about to pounce and throttle me, but luckily, security came by. "I hope you two aren't gonna start a fight at school." the guard warned.

I gave him a smile. "Oh no, not at all! We were just having a little fun. _Weren't_ we, Vriska?"

She glared at me intently, not looking away. "Yes. It's all fun and games." she forced through her gritted teeth.

"Good. You two get along now." the security guard said, walking away.

"Bastard." Vriska growled, storming down the opposite end of the hall.

By the time she was out of earshot, people started whispering amongst each other. "Oh shit, Vriska got _burned_!" someone whispered.

"Guys, I recorded the _whole_ fucking thing. Posting it now…" someone else said.

Taking out my phone, I was checking my notifications when someone tugged my sleeve from behind. Turning around, my eyes laid upon Jade, who was wearing a vibrant green jacket over a light blue T-shirt and skirt.

"Oh, hey, Jade." I greeted.

"Hey Dave. What's got everyone so excited?" she asked, looking up and down the hall.

I handed her my phone and some earbuds, and I showed her the video posted online. Damn, the thing got 413 likes already. She smiled throughout the video, giving off the most fucking adorable giggle as she saw the part where Vriska stormed off.

Returning it to me, she commented, "Wow, you really got her good!"

I laughed in response. "Well, she had it coming." Leaning in, I gave her a soft kiss on the cheek when- FUCK!

...

A bright flash came from the side of us, blinding me as it reflected off my glasses. The light seemed to get Dave too, who was rubbing his eyes, trying to regain his sight. When I looked for the origin of the disturbance, I saw a rather short girl with a camera, beaming up at us, a muscular boy standing behind her.

"Hi! Nice to meet mew!" she greeted.

"Umm… hi?" I responded.

Dave seemed a little annoyed to have been interrupted from our private moment.

"Who the fuck are you?" he asked bitterly. The girl seemed unphased, but the guy seemed upset about it.

"Now, now. Profanity like that is unacceptable in my book." he said in a snobby tone of voice.

"Fuck your book. What do you want?" Dave asked.

Frowning at him, I scolded him. "Dave! Could you at least get to know them before burning the welcome wagon?"

He loosened up a little.

"Hi! My name is Nepeta Leijon, and this is Equius Zahhak, and we are part of the school mewspaper, _Alternian Print_! We were wondering if mew two would like to be featured in this week's _Lofur's _(Lover's) section!" She was really ecstatic, and she even had little cat ears and a tail.

"Sure! That sounds _fun_! What do you say, Dave?" I nudged him.

He looked unsure. "I don't know, I like to keep a low profile. I hate being made the center of attention…"

"You're always the center of _my_ attention." I teased, earning a slight blush from him in exchange.

"...

fine."

"Purrfect! Just sign here and here…" The girl held out a small permissions sheet giving the newspaper consent to use the photo. We signed the form, my rounded, curly signature on one side, Dave's straight, bolded one on the other. "Great! Be sure to get next week's issue and look to page 7 for your picture! See you!" The pair made their way down the hall, the girl skipping happily, the boy treading heavily behind her.

Not long after, the bell rang, signaling the start of passing. We said our goodbyes, heading to our next classes.

…

The rest of the day was uneventful, no problems. My teachers practically didn't give a shit about my glasses, knowing it would just be more trouble for them to stay after school and give me detention for arguing with them about it.

Though, I was still on the lookout for Bro, who I'm pretty sure was watching me or Jade some time throughout the day. He may be a creepy stalker, but at least he's a fucking good one at that. Not the kind of sons of bitches who stare at you from right outside your window. Those are just awful.

By now, nearly our entire grade heard about the confrontation between me and Vriska. That's all anyone was talking about. Don't these assholes have something better to do than wear their throats raw, yapping away?

Before I knew it, another day at school had passed, and another afternoon to hang out with my girlfriend.

Wait. Fuck. I knew jack shit about dating girls.

I needed some help.

...

* * *

A/N: I'd like to thank some of this story's followers:

-johjohjohj

-Dawn Julien-Garmadon

You guys are great, and I'll try updating as much as possible!

(By the way, late DISCLAIMER: I don't own Homestuck. Obviously.)

Until next time,

~ATJKU


	4. Chapter 4: Relationship in Training

A/N: Well that took longer than it should have. Relatively short this time, I'm afraid. Been a little busy, between making music, and watching anime.

Actually, I just started watching Shingeki no Kyojin just yesterday, and I have to say: it's a lot more graphic than I thought it would be. Shocker.

So anyway, I'll update again sooner or later, so for now, enjoy Chapter 4: Relationship in Training.

* * *

I sat in the middle of the Science classroom, about five minutes before the passing period was scheduled to end. There were few students in the classroom at the moment, which gave me some time to think about getting help with Jade.

Who the fuck could help me out? Jade is literally the only person I know in the entire goddamn school. I needed someone experienced, someone who knows their shit-

I was pulled out of my thoughts by someone shaking my shoulder gently. Turning around, it was a guy, my age. He had rectangle-framed glasses and two buckteeth. "What?" I asked irritably.

"Sorry, but you look troubled. What's wrong?" This guy sounded pretty innocent, doubt he could help with my problems.

"Nothing." He seemed a little hurt, being waved off like that, but his smile returned as a loud voice came from down in the hallway.

"John! John!" it called. Oh fuck, please let it not be the John that I have in my mind. Another freshman entered the room, a dark-haired boy, and I had a sickening feeling I knew what his name was.

"Karkat!" FUCK THIS SHIT, I'M OUT. I stood up to leave, but the boy blocked my exit. Realizing I couldn't get out of this one, I sat back down.

John waved over Karkat, who grew a frown on his face as he walked closer. "Who the hell is this fuckass?"

"This 'fuckass's name is Dave." I responded, but his expression said plainly: I don't give two shits.

"Anyway, John. I got a little something for you. Here..." Karkat mumbled, passing a green ghost slime plush thing to him. John's face instantly brightened as he grabbed the gift, his smile stretching from ear to ear. Leaning in, he gave the guy long, passionate kiss, one which I wish wasn't all up in my face right now-

Wait. I'm such a total moron. "Hey, hold up." I interrupted. The two broke apart, John looked confused, and Karkat looked like he could slam his fist into my face.

"The fuck do you want?" the latter asked irritably.

"You two seem to know your shit. Could you help me out?"

Now even the agitated teen was confused like John. "Help you out with what?"

"Well, you see, I'm in a relationship myself, and I need some help. I really don't want to mess up."

"Sure we'll help!" John chimed. Karkat didn't seem to agree, however.

"Why the hell would I help you?"

"Oh come on, Karkat!" he pleaded to his boyfriend, clutching his arm. "We should always aid someone in need!"

The teen thought about it for a moment, before reluctantly replying. "Fine. I'll help you. Let me just get my reference books…" he said, putting down his bag and opening it up.

Reference books? How the fuck do you find refer- Oh shit.

The guy took out a pile of romance novels, from a few pages up to several inches thick.

"Why the hell do you have romance novels in your backpack?" I asked him.

Scowling, he snapped, "Do you want our fucking help or not, dickwad?"

Unfortunately, he had a point.

…

Another class passed by, and I realized that I still needed to find someone to help me with my relationship. "Winging it" sounds like a terrible approach, but it's starting to become an option. As I opened up my locker to put some of my belongings inside, a girl with red glasses opened hers right next to mine.

"Excuse me," I said, tapping her shoulder. She looked at me, flashing her bright, white teeth.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Do you know how to keep a steady relationship?" I asked. The girl rubbed her chin, thinking.

"Oh, hahaha…" she answered, blushing. "I had a thing with this boy, like, two years ago. Things got real intimate. But, umm... we broke up. He fell for some random-ass guy he started talking to online, then in person. I actually thought he hated him at first, seeing the way he talked to him. But, over time, I noticed that he seemed happier with him than he did with me. At least he's doing alright." Her spirit seemed to dampen a little, but the girl brightened up quickly. Extending her hand, she greeted me. "Name's Terezi. And you are?"

Returning her handshake, I replied, "Jade. I don't exactly have many friends to ask for advice, and counselors… well, they sort of freak me out."

"Eh, counselors are kind of weird sometimes. But anyway, I think a first step would be… don't be too clingy. Don't be all, 'I need to see you every day, oh my god, can't think of spending time without you.' A little creepy."

"Isn't that a given?"

"Yeah, just making sure. But show him you care, you know? Like, give him some pecks on the cheek or lips or some shit like that."

Now that sounded like great advice. "Thanks, Terezi. Is there anything else I should know?"

"Uh… just be yourself, I guess? Logically, it's your personality of when he met you that he fell in love with. By the way, who's this guy you're goin' out with?"

"Dave Strider," I answered, though my response seemed to make her smile.

"Oh, Dave. He's pretty cute, isn't he? Fucking rad too, if you ask me. Anyway, good luck." Closing her locker, she walked away to her next class.

All this talk made me wonder if Dave even knows what he's doing with this relationship.

…

Twenty minutes of this fuck blabbering about his romcoms and I still know jack shit about relationships. Then again, maybe I should actually listen to him.

Snapping back to reality, Karkat was in the middle of talking about something to do with two lovers on some boat or whatever. Something about an iceberg.

"Hey, asshole! Are you even listening to me?" he growled.

"Not really. All the useless shit that's spewing from your face is not really helping at all." I answered.

"Maybe we should try a different approach," John suggested. "How about going over some basic relationship rules." Continuing on, he said, "Never be abusive. That's absolutely unacceptable. Um… Perhaps buy her some gifts once in a while, whether its a promise ring or some flowers, as long as it's meaningful."

Wow. This guy actually knows what he's talking about. "Now that's some advice right there. What else?" I asked.

"Well… going out on dates is fundamental. Doesn't matter whether you go out to the movies, or just making out in some field. Spend time with her, make sure she feels like you care. Call her, if you can't. You do have her number, right?"

Oh shit. I don't even have her fucking number. "Uh… crap. I'll ask her today."

"And, um… don't make the babies in high school." John finished that last part with a small blush.

"Ah. And I assume you two didn't do some baby-making yourselves in the janitor's closet earlier this week?" I asked with a smirk.

The couple was blushing furiously. "What the hell are you talking about?" Karkat demanded.

"Just saying, maybe you shouldn't have sex in a school closet." I continued, smiling. "But seriously, thanks for the advice, guys."

"No problem. Good luck, man."

"Don't fuck up." Karkat added. "Or fuck, for that matter." The two returned to their seats, seeing as the teacher just walked in.

Armed with this new knowledge, I felt ready for this relationship.

Or at least I felt I did.

* * *

A/N: To my readers,

I will be changing some things:

One: The story name will be changed from "A Friend or Something More?" to something more suitable, perhaps "Inexperienced" or some shit like that.

Two: My pen name will also change. I started writing back when I leaned more Adventure Time fandom. But, seeing as my fandom alignment has changed, so will my name. The new name will be "AdorableBecquerel", almost like my Tumblr url.

So yeah, that's that.

Until next time,

~ATJKU

(A.K.A. AdorableBecquerel)


	5. Chapter 5: Tired and Exhausted

A/N: Writing this is pretty fun. I love dropping subtle references here and there. Though the actual fluff, especially any smut that I'll write later, is pretty tough.

This chapter is more of a filler, as I try to keep track on what day of the week it is. For example, Chapter 1 and 2 were on Monday, 3 on Tuesday, 4 on Wednesday, and this one on Thursday.

A lot of side pairings in the story aren't there?

By the way, wishing everyone a happy 4/13! It's a shame there wasn't an update, but perhaps Paradox Space will prove much better!

* * *

…

Today was going by extremely slowly. Every teacher seemed to talk in slow motion, almost as slow as a snail's pace.

The process of cell division starts with the G1 phase. In this stage, the cell undergoes much growth…

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I want to go home.

/

Lunch took forever to come. It felt like days, weeks even, before the bell rang.

Another day of awful school lunch. Taco salad. Wow. The cafeteria even ran out of tortillas, and they were stuck using bread. Damn bread.

As I exited the lunch room, I went to my usual eating spot, but it seems like it's been taken. A weird stoner with messy black hair sat there, staring off into space. Slowly, he turned to look at me, with wide empty eyes.

Yeah, no. New lunch spot.

It took a while, but I guess I found Dave's lunch spot. There he sat, poking at his food, almost in a trance-like state. "Dave!" I called to him. Looking up, he waved and gestured for me to come.

"Hey, Jade," he greeted, as I dropped down next to him. "How are you? You feeling tired?"

Rubbing my eyes, I nodded. "Yeah, you know how Thursdays are." I used my fork to tear off a piece of the "taco" and stuffed it in my mouth. Eh, at least it tastes alright.

We sat quietly, eating our own lunches. It was a nice moment, even if neither of us said anything.

"Oh, uh, right. Before I forget…" Dave reached into his shirt pocket, pulling out a piece of paper. Handing it to me, I opened it up. 555-869-3593. "Oh yeah, we never really did exchange them, did we?" I took out a piece of paper and wrote my number down, giving it to him as I finished.

He took it, remarking, "Why would I need math when I got the only number that I'll ever need to know?"

I giggled, but it sounded more like a mouse squeaking while hyperventilating. In response, I clamped my hand onto my mouth.

"No need to muffle your laugh, it sounds cut- uh, I mean, cool." He coughed. I leaned my head onto his shoulder, releasing a deep sigh.

"Thanks, Dave."

Looking out across campus, we indulged in this sweet moment. We watched friends talking, fooling around like best buds. Couples enjoying the presence of one another.

It was moments like these that made everything right in the world. Moments that seem to be too short, yet last forever.

/

I felt like sleeping during class, but I couldn't afford an F starting first quarter. Dave seemed unfazed, I seriously wonder if he actually sleeps.

Maybe he's too cool for sleep.

On the other hand, I'm not. As soon as the bell of end of school rang, I headed out of school. Taking out my phone, I texted Dave that we couldn't hang out today, for lack of sleep. Thankfully, I don't live too far from school, so it was only a matter of minutes for me to get home.

Unlocking the door, I dropped my bag to the floor and collapsed onto the couch. The comforting brown leather felt cool on my skin, and soothing on my aching body.

It wasn't long until slumber welcomed me with open arms.

…

Holy shit. I've never felt so tired in my life. Even with my strifes with Bro, those didn't even come close to right now.

All day, I listened to boring fucks mumble away about something I didn't give a damn about.

The Tripartite Pact brought together three countries: Japan, Italy, and Germany… Yeah, we get it. World War II stuff. Doesn't affect my life nor future one fucking bit. About as useful to me as a pen with no ink.

At least I had my coffee, which sat in my… Fuck, it's gone. I looked around the classroom. Could've sworn I had it this morning…

A girl with red shades sat next to me, sipping away like it was hers. God damn it, that was mine, I need it now.

"Hey, that's my coffee." I said to her. She tilted her head my way, peeking over her classes. Still drinking it.

"I don't see your name on it," she answered. What the fuck. It was written clearly on all sides of the bottle.

"Are you fucking blind? My name's all over it!" This girl's being a real fuck right now. I really wanted- no. Needed my coffee right now.

Leaning in closer, she whispered with a smirk, "Well now, isn't that rude. 'Cuz I am blind." Oh shit, I just insulted a blind person.

"Oh, damn. Sorry. But I'm extremely tired right now, and I'd like to have my coffee back." I asked more politely.

"Oh yeah, sure. Here you go-" she offered, handing back the cup. "By the way, you're name's Dave, right? From middle school?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. That's me." I replied. "And you are Terezi, I think?"

Smiling, she nodded. "Listen, I've seen ya around, and, I gotta say: you're hella rad. You wanna hang out sometime?" Oh man, she's hitting on me.

"Aw, sorry. I'm sort of seeing someone already." Her smile faltered a little.

"I see." I felt kind of bad turning down a blind girl, but I really was already seeing someone. "Eh, ya can't have 'em all, I guess."

Turning forward, she returned to taking notes on the lecture. What a shame, she was pretty too. I guess you really can't have them all.

I brought my attention up front again, quietly sipping from my mug of coffee.

/

By the end of school, I had run out of my precious caffeinated liquid, not a drop remaining. It was a good thing Jade canceled on hanging out today, seems like she was wrestling with sleep as well today.

Being tired, three blocks to walk seems like a far walk. But thankfully, I managed to get home. As soon as I walked in the door, I collapsed on the couch. Bro was busy cooking in the kitchen, with the notorious apron from the other day.

"Oh damn. You're home early! Rough day?" he asked. I groaned in response. "Jeez. School never seems to get easier, does it?"

"Ugh. No."

"Well, you just gotta-hrrg. Push- hnng. Through it. Ah…" Bro encouraged. Something's off.

"You okay, Bro?" I asked. "You barely made it through that sentence."

Beads of sweat appeared on his face and neck. "Yep, yep, yep. No- oh, oh. Problem at all. Fuck." He whispered furiously to himself.

I stood up and began to approach him. "Is something wrong? I can call 911 if there's-"

"No, no, no! Everything's fine! Just-ah. Don't come closer. Like go to your-ha, room or some shit. Just not in the kitcheee-aw fuck, Jake!" He collapsed to the ground.

I ran over to the kitchen. "Hey Bro are you okay-" Oh fuck. Shit. Damn. Fuck. This isn't happening.

Bro laid on the floor in the kitchen, his boyfriend down on him, bobbing his head up and down.

"God damn it, Bro! You should have told me Jake was over! I didn't need to see you having sex with him today. Or _any_ day, for that matter! Didn't need to see my brother doing some fucking, damn it!" I yelled, shielding my eyes.

He replied shakily, overcome with pleasure. "Oh-oh shit. S-sorry, Da-ave. I'll try harder-r-r- FUCK!" he yelled, arching his back. Did he just…

I spotted something from the corner of Jake's mouth. Fuck. Going to my room.

/

The image was stuck in my head. Couldn't get my fucking brother's orgasm out of my stupid brain.

I turned to look at my clock. _11:24_. Fuck. Tomorrow's Friday. I wanted to get some sleep, like, _actual_ legit rest, so I wouldn't be too tired to take Jade out somewhere after school. Perhaps to the theaters to see that cool movie. What was it again? _Won't Stop_? Eh, some movie with Lien Keelson or whatever that actor's name was.

In an attempt to fall asleep, I grabbed my Ipod from my desk and popped the headphones on. Closing my eyes, I listened to the great opening of the first song. The whistled tune was great, one of my favorite to listen to-

Wait. What was this song again? I listened closely for the lyrics.

_Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby, let-_

Son of a fuck.

...

* * *

A/N: Sorry about all these author notes, most of these are just for me to talk to someone, like not even _with_ someone, just _to_ someone. If you want, you can really just skip these. Most of it is just irrelevant blabbering anyway.

It may take a while to update the story however, for multiple reasons:

-Recovery after the 4/13 incident (A.K.A. furious reblogging of celebratory Homestuck fanart on Tumblr).

-I need to finish what I've started, in other words, the two other stories I'm working on (which, side note, is a terrible idea to work on multiple unfinished stories).

-Otaku-mode still going strong. Shingeki No Kyojin is finished, and now to Puella Magi Madoka Magica, and later Steins; Gate.

-Regardless of reason two, I'm starting a Trollcops!AU story, featuring Sollux, Terezi, and Gamzee, with a little bit of Karkat. (Sorry fans of Karkat, he gets the shit beat out of him. _Gomen_.)

Until next time,

~AdorableBecquerel


End file.
